Friday Cat Blogging

Pica: Yes, I'm quite comfy, thank you.

For more cat-bloggy goodness, visit the Friday Ark today and the Carnival of the Cats on Sunday.

*bimbles off*

Humming along

Maybe it's just me, but is anyone else just slightly creeped out by people who hum in the bathroom? Particularly if it's the same verse, over and over?

*bimbles off*

The space known as the elevator

Okay, here's the deal.... when the elevator stops on your floor, the courteous... the nice... dare I say, the ADULT thing to do is politely stand aside until the people IN the elevator have had a chance to exit before you pull your full-frontal assault to get to the coffee on the 7th floor. I don't know how many times I've tried to get off an elevator only to have five people literally blocking my exit. I actually had one moron flapping his gums on a cell phone run into me, then never even acknowledge his actions could have caused major head trauma when I came close to falling. I am pleased to report I did set his clothes on fire with the diatribe of profanities I directed at his departing ass.

After spending several months fuming over this lack of common courtesy, followed by hard stares and then adding snarky remarks, I've finally escalated my one-woman cause by refusing to get off the elevator, thereby blocking the entrance, until the idiots in front of me give me at least a couple of feet to manuver. Trust me... you keep these Blackberry-enslaved, coffee-snorting frat boys from charging an elevator like of a pack of startled bulls, you start to get attention.

Vive le Resistance!

*bimbles off*

Fun with heart machines

Nothing tests your sanity quite like having a health problem that doesn't show up on the doctor's test. You know something is wrong, but every poke, prod and blood test reveals nothing. You're left sitting there, defending yourself like a three-year-old.... really and TRULY, something is wrong. I'm not making this up!

I've had a problem with "forceful palpitations" - the medical term for my heart hammers away at times like a freight train out of control - for nearly two years. My heart doesn't race, it just pounds, very hard. In the beginning, the doctor took my word for it, I was given a beta blocker and that seemed to do the trick. However, a few months ago, I had to increase my dose. Then a couple of weeks ago, I started getting the palpitations again - frequently and for long periods of time. We upped my dose again. Nothing happened. Made an appointment for an EKG.

Luckily, my heart was doing it's jack-hammer routine when I went in. Because you know how it goes.... it's like a car that malfunctions until you take it to the garage. Then, it purrs like a kitten. So, I lie there, feeling my heart beats in my eardrums, while a machine dutifully ran off a chart.

A chart that showed nothing. Nada. Zip. No enlarged heart, no electrical fuckups, no imminent heart attack, no nothing. The nurse looks at it, looks at me and says the doctor will be in. You know the look she gives me. The "this is probably all in your head, you just need to learn to relax" look. I wanted to shove the EKG machine up her ass.

Doctor breezes in. Explains the EKG machine and what it measures. Tells me it didn't show anything. We discuss... rather, I go over, again, in fine detail what I feel, how often and for how long. Doctor nods. Repeats nothing showed up on the EKG. I suppress the urge to take hostages. He then decides to listen to my heart with a stethoscope. Absolute silence, then....

Doctor: Huh... I hadn't heard that before.
Me: Heard? Heard what?
Doctor: *clicks his tongue for a second* A murmur.
Me: Murmur? A heart murmur?
Doctor: Yes, a murmur when blood is being expelled from your heart.
Me: And, that means....?
Doctor: That means your heart is indeed pumping too hard. The murmur is like a swoosh of too much blood coming out of the heart.

And, there you go. Proof I was not insane or just pulling this story out of my ass because I like reading the three-year-old magazines in the waiting room.

So.

More dicussion. How is my life? Stressful? You might as well ask if the pope is... oh, nevermind. Anyway, it boils down to this: most likely, because of the stress in my life, my body is pumping too much adrenaline to my heart. I'm not having full panic or anxiety attacks, but enough worry for my heart to notice. However, the doctor wants to make sure it isn't an any abnormality in the heart itself. To rule out anything else, I'm having a sonogram taken of my heart next week. After that, we have another huddle. Until then, I keep taking my medicine. And, I'm supposed to "relax."

Yeah, and maybe bunnies will fly out of my ass.

*bimbles off*

And they call me godless

There are people who are actually insane and then there are people who are simply vicious little pricks who know exactly what they are doing is wrong, but do it anyway because it's "fun." These bastards fit the latter category.

AP, 5-8-08
SAN FRANCISCO - Computer attacks typically don't inflict physical pain on their victims.

But in a rare example of an attack apparently motivated by malice rather than money,
hackers recently bombarded the Epilepsy Foundation's Web site with hundreds of pictures and links to pages with rapidly flashing images.

The breach triggered severe migraines and near-seizure reactions in some site visitors who viewed the images. People with photosensitive epilepsy can get seizures when they're exposed to flickering images, a response also caused by some video games
and cartoons.

Shooting would be too good for them. I propose we strap them in a chair with their eyes forced open, like in A Clockwork Orange, and force them to watch flashing lights all day and night.

With the occasional brick bounced off their forehead, just for "fun."

*bimbles off*

Those damned wizards

I don't know that my brain can process this. Really.

LAND 'O LAKES, Fla. -- A substitute teacher in Pasco County has lost his job after being accused of wizardry.

Teacher Jim Piculas does a magic trick where a toothpick disappears and then reappears. Piculas recently did the 30-second trick in front of a classroom at Rushe Middle School in Land 'O Lakes.

Piculas said he then got a call from the supervisor of teachers, saying he'd been accused of wizardry.

"I get a call the middle of the day from head of supervisor of substitute teachers. He says, 'Jim, we have a huge issue, you can't take any more assignments you need to come in right away,'" he said.

Piculas said he did not know of any other accusations that would have led to the action.

The teacher said he is concerned that the incident may prevent him from
getting future jobs.

*bimbles off*

Stupidity Kills

It's bad enough the pro-life wingnuttia have such a foothold in this country that states such as Oklahoma now force a woman to have an ultrasound if she requests an abortion, whether she wants one or not. Now, these loons are looking to ban the birth control pill as well.

The Pill Kills: 'Pro-Lifers' Plan National Protest of Contraception

If you have the stomach for it, follow the links to this group's "talking points," which conveniently replaces the word "egg" with "child" and whips up hysteria over conditions that are linked to using the pills.... including the disproved link between cervical cancer and the pill.

Next thing you know, menopause will be declared a crime against unborn children and women over 40 will be shot to death to protect our "culture of life."

*bimbles off*